Life is big

I have a confession to make.

With just about 90 days to go, I think I've already gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy. And I'm about to hit a scary number I never even fathomed I'd see on the scale, the number that, once I'd calculated about what the average woman "should" gain during a normal pregnancy, I figured I'd fit just snugly, and safely, below. Now that the number is encroaching every day more rapidly, I'm thinking I must have let myself go a bit too far.

What went wrong? (And I don't mean that in the sense of despair, it's too late, it's over; I mean it in the sense that now that I've recognized what I'll detail below, hopefully I can stop stressing about it and get on with my life.) I haven't gone on an all-McDonald's binge or rid my house of fruits and vegetables. I haven't stopped exercising. I haven't even really shunned any foods (after the treacherous first trimester) or gone craving-crazy. So maybe nothing's gone wrong; it's just the way my body's handling the pregnancy. But here's what maybe I haven't been doing, at least not as diligently (which, as you know, isn't always so diligent either!) as before.

• Counting calories. I know; who wants to do that when you're pregnant and worrying about names, cribs, scans and tests? I just couldn't keep up with it even when I was out of the first trimester and could choke down more than toast and bagels. But it would make sense that, if I did it before, I could add the permissible 300 extra calories and count them along with the rest, guaranteeing a slow and steady weight gain, nothing erratic or unhealthy.
• Ordering from the "healthy fare" section of the menu at restaurants. Again, what fun is a pregnancy if you can't enjoy a cheeseburger every once in a while? But it adds up. We've been getting takeout and eating out more than usual because we've been so busy, and I'm no longer looking for the salads and egg whites like I was before. I've resorted to steak sandwiches and French fries. Admittedly, I choose fruit for my side instead of hash browns at breakfast, and my only burger was a turkey burger — but there have been at least three steak sandwiches in there, you can be sure of that!
• Cardio, cardio, cardio. Yeah, I know. It's not like I have to do anything other than walk. But with all the good things I've heard about yoga for pregnancy, that's become my safe haven. And don't get me wrong — I can barely get through my day without it now, it calms me so and stretches out my ever-painful sciatica. But it doesn't burn the extra calories that I must be consuming. So as I finish running through my local library's prenatal section this week, the treadmill looms ahead. Good thing I have a few episodes of LOST to catch up on!
• Making healthy choices, not just cheap ones. You know all about my budget woes. So is it any wonder that last month, the first time in I don't know how long that I came in under my food budget, I was probably spilling over with the calories and fat grams? Let's just say the pork and beef I bought to test out a few slow-cooker meals weren't exactly the leanest cuts on the shelf. But they were so cheap! I couldn't resist! Now I find myself questioning again why I can't stick to my tastes and my healthy foods without going over budget each month. I swear, one day I will get it. One day it will come easily and effortlessly to me, and I will sit back and smile with baby, thinking, Remember when? as we munch on cheese from Whole Foods and those deliciously addictive little toasts they sell in the deli.

So it's not that bad. I eat the occasional scone at Starbucks on the weekends, but let's be honest: I did that before, too. And although there was that one afternoon at Taco Bell (I had a coupon, people!), it's not like I'm there every Tuesday. There was one other incident at Burger King, I have no shame in full confession, but other than that, my kitchen is still stocked with whole-grain pasta, blueberries, pineapple, broccoli and brown rice. Although it will be difficult for me to cope when that number inevitably pops up on the scale this week or next week, I'm hoping that at least from here on out I can just focus on making smart choices one by one, watch my portion size and realize that this is how my body is handling all of the major changes taking place inside right now. It's truly a beautiful, amazing and astounding thing.

After all, pregnant women shouldn't diet. So that leaves me with just the "Gourmet" part! I deserve to enjoy my zucchini in marinara and a couple tiny little chocolates after dinner tonight. And I think I will.

Just Juice It

This probably won't be a very long post, but I just finished reading The Coupon Mom's Guide to Cutting Your Grocery Bills in Half and the theme today goes along with one of my New Year's resolutions to waste less — I'm like Charlie's mom in "So I Married an Axe Murderer" in that I juice everything now. Slicing apples or pears? Don't toss the rough centers in the trash. Toss them in the juicer!

Last year (also around New Year's, probably) I became obsessed with Breville juicers after watching an episode of Martha Stewart. Dole owner David Murdock and Martha were going on and on about how they stick everything through the juicer, Martha with her green potions she drinks every morning, David with his whole pineapples of course, blah blah blah. Well, obviously something got my attention. I waited until my coveted juicer went on sale at Macy's and then man, you can't imagine the juices we started concocting!

If you don't own a good juicer — the kind with a feeder tube, so you can throw in things like pineapple cores, quarter grapefruits and entire clementines — I highly recommend purchasing one. I know that eating the whole fruit is often better than drinking just the juice, but really — I have some mushy pears and insanely tiny kiwis in my fridge right now that just don't merit eating whole. But come juicing time tomorrow, I'll have a kiwi-pear-grapefruit blend that you can bet your last dollar will be delicious, and I haven't wasted a thing. Definitely worth the initial investment in machinery!

Juicing can get addictive, but you do have to take the time to wash (and peel sometimes) your fruit first and then of course hand wash most of the juicer parts when you're done. And you know me — I'm not the most dedicated dish washer. But I will do anything to keep my juicer in tip-top shape! There's nothing like the taste of fresh-squeezed OJ on a Sunday morning, and you know every time that it's 100% juice — no added flavors, colors or preservatives. I could go on all day!

I'm not on the Weekly World News Garth Brooks Juice Diet. I just play one on TV.

New Year, New You

In past years, I literally bought every magazine on the stands with that phrase on the cover — Runner's World, Self, Shape, you name it. This year? I think my resolution from last year to not buy so many magazines in general will spill over, similar to the one the year before to stop buying energy/meal-replacement bars — I guess the good ones stick, like adding more yoga to my workout regimen and drinking more tea, which I started years ago.

I tend to make long resolution lists. My mother, God bless her, doesn't need a day on the calendar to start fresh or make a change, but for me it helps — they're more like goals for me, not resolutions. Here's this year's list (food related only, of course), because apparently I can't go for long without listing SOMETHING!

• Stick to my new budget, which I outlined on my last day of vacation (not fun, but I give myself props because this year I think it's much more realistic), especially when it comes to grocery shopping — and I printed a coupon yesterday for The Coupon Mom's Guide to Cutting Your Grocery Bills in Half. I even made my own reusable master grocery list after trying out Real Simple's and realizing that no, I don't need to replenish my stash of soda and frozen pizzas every time I hit the market. Because if I have a list, you can bet I'm going to get everything on it!
  
• Exercise "most" days of the week, with a minimum of yoga alone.
• Start putting my baby plans into motion — going green, wasting less, going as "natural" as possible, stressing less (wow, this is a list in and of itself!), no fear — because I really shouldn't wait for the baby to come to get started on all of this! I like Dr Oz's idea of eating things that most closely resemble their original form — so the longest section of my master grocery list is by far in the produce aisle.
• Involve my husband more in decision-making — especially when it comes to food shopping and paying the bills. I can use all the help I can get, and he's actually pretty decent in the kitchen!
  
• Recognize wants versus needs — while it's often difficult to apply this ideal in the moment, I'm hoping that if I post my resolution list in my home office this year and look at it every day (I'll have to jazz it up a bit first so it's legible) it will stick a bit more, from Papa John's cheese bread to pricey baby clothes.
• MAKE more! My cool friend Cheryl has done what not even Martha Stewart could do — got me interested in crafting. Of course I'd like to make my own tree topper since I don't have one, some stocking hooks which I also don't have, garland, a stocking for baby, maybe some summery coasters — but I'm also looking forward to making my own granola/bars, almond butter and bread. And you'll get to hear how they all turn out, trust me!
• Don't procrastinate. (Funny how this one came last.) This goes for phone calls, organizing, ironing and — gasp — doing the dishes. I'm ashamed to admit to how long I usually let them sit, so if I allow myself to try out lots of new recipes in 2010 I have to balance it out with washing up the baking sheets and the food processor right after. Time to whip out my baking soda, vinegar and lemons and get my green cleaning on!

Whether you're pro-resolution or not, I hope you had a fun night last night and enjoy a safe, happy and healthy NEW YEAR!

Things I want to do...

Surprise, surprise: I've started two new lists today! A random McDonald's ad in the latest Family Circle struck a chord with me this afternoon, and although I'll limit my ideas here to food-related tomes, I'm going to share two categories that I'm inspired to improve in my life with the impending arrival of the new life budding inside of me: 1) Things I want to do with my child, and 2) Things I've always wanted to do and never have. I figure that now's as good a time as any to put more energy toward becoming the person I see in others sometimes and know is inside of me, too.

Things I want to do with my child

• Go green. I want my child to tote around his or her own reusable water bottle when they get older and not resort to a case-full of plastic water bottles that I don't even have room for in my kitchen. Marketers out there have already created dozens of cute options for kids, and I can't wait to get my hands on them when Baby becomes Toddler. Smart and cost effective.
  
• Eat clean and exercise simply. I want my child to know, understand and appreciate where our food comes from. I want him or her to feel the relaxation benefits of a calming yoga session. If I'm sounding a little hippie here, bear with me — I'm aware that these are lofty goals and that sometimes unfortunately only the intention is present, but I don't want my child to notice the tension I used to feel when I couldn't get my daily workout in. I want to develop a no-stress attitude when it comes to entertaining at home. It's standard for me as a Virgo to want everything to be just so — but when I think about visiting with my friends and family, I don't think about how clean the bathroom was or how many calories were in the sandwiches. I remember how much fun we had and how delicious dessert was!
• Volunteer. Lots of options fall under this category, but especially during this time of year (and being pregnant) most of what I do revolves around food. Why not volunteer at a soup kitchen once a year — at a minimum — when the kids are old enough? On an episode of Martha Stewart this morning I heard a story about a family whose house burned down in the California wild fires this year while they were at the movies. They didn't even have the chance to grab photo albums and family heirlooms, let alone clothes or toys. Watching Martha dole out piles of accessories from Macy's brought tears to my eyes (another effect of my raging hormones?) — and it made me realize the importance of giving, not only to the people on my Christmas list. We all love and appreciate food, so serving it to those in need is a great idea.
• Focus on natural foods. I don't want economy-sized boxes of Sweet 'N Low in my cupboard come this time next year (and no worries, there's none in there right now for the sake of baby, either). If I feel pangs of guilt for putting anything in my mouth — straight-from-the-box pepperoni pizza, ingredient lists with unpronounceable words, apples so shiny it looks unnatural — imagine how I'll feel when I'm loading up my grocery cart with packaged convenience foods and cases of Coke, while Junior stares back at me from the car seat. Again — I know I may be being unrealistic here. Kids enjoy eating macaroni and cheese, and not all sorts are bright yellow and sticky. Sometimes it's easier to put a pack of cut-up apples in a lunchbox than it is to snip a few grapes off the bunch and dump them in the [reusable] lunch tote. This could mean big changes to lots of habits in my house, and it may end up costing more money — but it's an idea. A less-is-more type of goal. Quality over quantity. (Don't hate!)
• Redefine fast food. My husband and I don't eat much Burger King as it is, but I can understand how things will change once I have a screaming baby hanging off my arm, pets that want dinner, work that needs to be done and laundry that hasn't seen a bottle of detergent in weeks. But does "fast food" have to mean burgers and fries? Can't it mean a couple of handfuls of organic baby spinach, black olives, crumbled feta cheese and a hunk of crusty bread? I really should dig out that crock pot again...I saw a great crock pot cook book in a local book store last month and am kicking myself for not purchasing it because now, of course, I have no idea what it's called and who wrote it. But you catch my drift...I'd much rather pick up a rotisserie chicken than a vat of chicken nuggets — on a good day.
• Develop good old Southern habits. I'm not from the South, but there's something so endearing about a boy saying "Yes, ma'am" when asked to clear the dishes. I'm not sure if I'll take it that far, but I at least want to instill the typical Please and Thank you at the dinner table. I don't want the TV on while we eat; I want to at least try to get my kids to eat what I'm eating (for the most part — when they're older) and I want them to respect meals and meal times as an opportunity for the family to talk and catch up. Even if we each share only one good thing and one bad thing that happened to us that day, it's a chance to learn and communicate without glossy eyes and cartoon monster voices distracting us from the blessings we're about to enjoy. You should see the dirty looks I shoot at the hubby now when he talks on the phone during dinner...
  
• Embrace your heritage. My husband Sergio is from Argentina, and I want this to be more than simply something we talk about from time to time or a weird place we visit every so often. I know lots of Argentine (and Spanish/Italian — his family also comes from Spain, Italy and Damascus) recipes, and I'd like to enjoy at least one meal per week that's a throwback to his childhood. Milanesas (beef or chicken milanese) can be baked, not fried; Sunday pasta can be whole wheat; dessert is often fresh, in-season fruit. I figure that if I put a little thought into it and try to keep up my weekly meal planning (it's been going well since my last grocery store meltdown!), I can at least keep the idea on the back burner.
• Have fun with it. Although Sergio gave me that "are-you-crazy?" look when I asked him if they do breakfast for dinner in Argentina, I stand by the belief that it's a big thing here! What's wrong with the occasional pancakes for supper? A midnight snack of a bowl of Cheerios with milk? I know it sounds as though I'm making up a lot of rules (that I admittedly may never follow), so this is one for all of you who think I'm foolish, stupid or, yes, crazy. I'm giving myself permission to not be so strict about meals all the time. Vanilla pudding can be a fine snack. Yogurt may have to be lunch sometimes, if I end up with a picky eater. We call can't all be perfect 100% of the time.
• Share the responsibilities. I'm no hard-core feminist, but I can be resentful when I realize that — wait a minute — both my husband and I work (OK, I work from home, but I do wear the pants, so to speak), yet in the past seven years we've fully adopted the typical domestic pattern of, oh yeah, wife also cooks, cleans and does the shopping, dishes and laundry. If I can do anything to make the stereotype a little less obvious to my son or daughter, I'd like to. I envision Nanny 911-type shared task lists, taking turns cooking (Sergio makes a mean apple chicken!) and, obviously, help doing the dishes! Or at least learn how the dishwasher works, after we get a new one that doesn't sound like the noise at the beginning of every episode of LOST! Please!
• Don't use food as a reward. I may only be saying this because of my food issues, but for the sake of every struggling young woman out there I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that I scored well on my math test so I'm going to eat chocolate cake tonight. I'm all for certain foods as special treats, but I know first hand that rewarding myself for losing 10 pounds by celebrating with a scone from Starbucks is pure silliness. I don't have any experience in this with kids, so I know that I'll have to be creative when it comes to potty training and report cards, but I'd rather not create the food-reward connection if possible. I've screwed it up too many times as an adult, so I'd rather not confuse the heck out of my kids once they start putting two and two together on their own.
• Practice moderation. Banning anything will make the rebel in all of us perk up our ears, and I don't want mine to be the kid at the birthday party who's "not allowed" to eat ice cream or has never tried French fries. But for everyone in the family, learning self control is important. One box of Cocoa Puffs does not a life-long habit make — but it won't mean that all of these hopes are in vain, either. Healthy alternatives are always available, but when a bunch of baby carrots won't satisfy my craving for potato chips, I know that I'll buy a bag here and there. Having one cookie is better than sneaking into the kitchen and stealing five later.
  

So far I only have two things on my list of Things I've always wanted to do but never have, so you'll have to come back for that. It probably won't be anything extreme, such as eating chocolate-covered ants, but I don't want to exhibit an air of self-consciousness or fear when my children will be looking to me for confidence and inspiration — which is sort of the basis of these lists. I know that some of you reading this might be thinking "SMH" and rolling your eyes, but if you regularly read my articles you've probably already done that a few times anyway! So thank you for continuing to read and for indulging my possibly-fantastical ideals for Baby Numero Uno. This is a food blog, remember — so take everything with a grain of salt.

Mushroom & fontina paninis

This sandwich was so delicious that I had to stop and take a picture of it mid-meal — but apparently I was in too much of a food coma to notice that it was out of focus, so no photos today — sorry, Broke Socialite!

A word about panini bread: I completely lucked out, stopping at an Italian market the day before and buying Pane Turano — possibly the most perfect panini bread ever, because the wide slices fit just so snugly on my grill pan that it couldn't have looked more authentic. So I would try to find the widest sliced bread possible — not necessarily thick sliced; length (or width, whatever you want to call it — not my strong suit obviously) is more important than thickness here. A good quality bread will make or break your panini.

And now on to the non-recipe (because it's so easy, thank you, Bitty, for my new favorite cookbook, Kitchen Express)!

• ~2c sliced baby bella mushrooms (although any kind will work, really)
• Pat of butter
• ~1t fresh chopped oregano
• Salt & fresh cracked black pepper
• EVOO
• 4 slices panini bread
• Hunk of fontina cheese, shredded

1. Cook down the mushrooms in a saute pan with butter over medium heat until they've released a bit of liquid and look tender and yummy. Season with the oregano, salt and pepper.
2. Brush the outsides of your four pieces of bread with the olive oil and heat up your panini press or grill pan to medium to medium-high (see below).
3. Divide the mushrooms between two slices of panini bread and top with as much shredded fontina as will allow (before spilling out over the edges). Add another slice of bread on top.
4. If you're using a grill pan like me, set the paninis down and place a heavy pan on top so as to press the sandwiches together. Start your heat off rather moderate (medium for me) so as to slowly melt the cheese; flip the sandwiches and if you notice they have only slight grill marks so far on the first side, leave it on the second side for just as long — probably somewhere around five minutes each.
5. Once this original time has elapsed, crank the heat up a bit to get the grill marks more pronounced and the bread a bit more crunchy on the outside. The cheese should be thoroughly melty and gooey by now.
6. I like to get a little fancy with it when it's done and cut the sandwiches down the middle, on an angle. This gives it just a little gourmet touch; serves 2.

This is a method you'll want to come back to again and again. I think this kind of sandwich (well, we all know a good panini, don't we?) would be great with goat cheese, or perhaps just adding some prosciutto to the mix — you can really make it a kitchen-sink kind of thing with whatever you've got on hand. The best I ever had was tomato and mozzarella from a street vendor in Paris, so even simple ingredients can give you a big bang for your buck.

I served mine with oven-baked French fries, but they'd also be lovely with some salt-and-vinegar potato chips or a nice green salad. Enjoy!

When it's time to change...

Because who doesn't like imagining Peter Brady's voice cracking? I love The Brady Bunch.

Anyways, how quickly I digress. Of course so many changes are going on in my life right now, most of them expected (quickly hunting for ways I can save more money; growing out of my jeans; thinking about life insurance) — but some of them are unexpected (my new obsession with Podcasts; my complete rejection of reading magazines; my sudden disdain for makeup) and rather unpleasant, too. I'll leave out the annoying hormonal imbalance garbage for you here and, as you'd expect, move right along to sustenance.

I was at my local grocery store the other day, making a quick stop on the way home from looking at cribs. My fist packed with coupons and not much on my mind other than a) trying to get my husband out of there fast to avoid the rolling of the eyes and the sighs and b) dinner, I sped through the aisles gathering whatever caught my eye and whatever I had a coupon for. This had become a sort of routine for me — trying to make the trip as short and sweet as possible, saving money along the way and enjoying my pregnancy a bit by splurging on occasional foods here and there that I never would have bought pre-baby bump.

Sounds all fun and good, if you can stomach grocery shopping in the first place. But then we got to the checkout.

I watched as my husband piled my boxes of frozen lunch meals on the conveyor belt. One after the other after the other. I had recently been complaining that I never had anything to eat for lunch, and they were on sale. But then I also had a coupon for Lean Pockets. And I needed bread, and crackers, too. A couple frozen pizzas for dinner and a Sprite for the road, and I had it all laid out before me: I had become that busy mom (to be) loading up on processed foods and anything that came in a box or can, just for the sake of convenience and cost effectiveness. Even my fruit was packaged "in light syrup." There wasn't a single real food in my cart! Not even one miserable apple or bunch of broccoli.

I was embarrassed. How did I get here? How did I become this person? When did I stop cooking? (When was the last time I cooked?) Sure, I'm busy cleaning, shopping and working, but I used to be just as busy working out, planning meals and relaxing on the couch in front of my favorite soap opera. I knew better than this. Eating well isn't more expensive; in the long run, in fact, it's better for your mind and body, it saves you a boatload on healthcare and, frankly, it feels good to unload bags of beets and potatoes rather than chips and cookies.

The next morning in my preservative-laden stupor, it was all I could do to not insist that my husband take me immediately to Whole Foods after work. Seriously. Suddenly all I could think about were organic fruits and vegetables, fresh fish and chicken.

So last night I cooked. Chicken legs with oranges, honey mustard, carrots and Herbes de Provence. And tonight I cooked, too — Bitty's delicious griddle cakes, this time with chick peas. Tomorrow, after my next doctor's appointment, I know we may resort to that last frozen pizza. But after that, I'm looking forward to homemade soup and meat loaf.

I don't know if I just became overwhelmed with all the things I feel like I "have" to do — even if I want to do them — but it feels strange for something that was such a big part of my life before (cooking) to have become nearly obliterated by to-do lists, holiday planning and registering for onesies. So now, hopefully, after my self-imposed intervention, I've learned that it's not necessary to completely abandon one part of my life just because I'm carving out the space for a new one — albeit most likely the biggest and best new part of life as I know it.

Next it's your turn. For all the moms out there: How do you do it? How do you juggle family obligations, relaxation time, diet and exercise? Do you plan your meals? Shop alone? Do you even use coupons, considering they don't exactly advertise for apples and oranges? Let me know! I'm just setting foot in this unknown territory and clearly I could already use some help. I'd love to hear all of your tips and tricks.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a piece of the pumpkin pie I baked on Sunday. (I know it's pie, but I made it!)

Bun in the oven!

Yeah, I know it's obvious now what my big announcement is, but this is, after all, a food blog, so I couldn't resist the pun.

I'm pregnant!

I've waited the "official" 12 weeks to tell more than just my close family and friends, so now the whole world can know. We're not going to find out if it's a boy or girl, we already have the baby's room painted a nice minty green and we've already started stocking up on onesies, little tiny socks and even a cute stuffed ducky.

But enough about the baby, right??? The crazy thing is what this has done to my life already, and it's only been three months. I'm sure you've noticed my pathetic lack of posting, but of course suddenly life is not about dieting or losing weight; it's about coming to terms with gaining weight and trying to nurture this growing baby inside of me with the best foods possible.

The first trimester was rough. I felt nauseated pretty much 24/7, and for one week all I could eat were bagels and the next week only toast with butter. I couldn't stomach fruit, juice, practically anything to drink other than iced tea and water. What's a girl to do? I love to eat!

Now, thank God, the first trimester is over and like the flip of a switch I feel like a new woman again. I can't get enough juicy fruits now — pineapple, pears, watermelon, everything except cantaloupe, which now gives me the dreaded pregnant-lady heartburn. I don't necessarily get a lot of cravings, but I have to pick through everything in the house before I really find what I want to eat, and then...oh, it's glorious. And strangely enough, now that I can eat whatever I want (within reason, of course), the temptation to gorge myself on Halloween candy, for example, has completely dissipated. Last year I had one piece of each kind after lunch and dinner; now I barely nibble on a tiny little Hershey bar.

So things are definitely changing around here. I'm less tired in the second trimester now, but suddenly I have a lot of different things to do and plan for. I'll try to keep up with the blog and all of you lovelies, but I'll also be honest — my priorities have already shifted dramatically. It's amazing how everything changes from one day to the next. I might be coming to some of you mommies for advice; I might post some of the Spanish recipes I'm really into right now; I may completely abandon this idea until it's time for me to shed the inevitable baby weight. For now I'm just trying to take it easy — a little exercise here and there, nothing too rowdy, and the same delicious fresh foods I've always loved plus a few randoms here and there (currently obsessed with Kailua Monkey smoothies).

If any of you preggos out there have any foods you couldn't live without during your nine months, let me know! I've become quite susceptible to suggestions and marketing when it comes to food, so you can be sure I'll take your comments to heart.

Thanks for all your support!